Disabled young woman and her boyfriend holding hands. Unrecognizable Caucasian people.
So, here we are, celebrating Disability Pride Month. And you know what that means, right? No, not just the extra wheelchair-friendly ramps (though those are nice). It's time to talk about something that makes people more jittery than a squirrel on espresso: the sexual lives of people with disabilities.
As a person with disabilities myself, I've experienced firsthand the assumptions and stereotypes that can cloud this discussion.
In a powerful op-ed for Teen Vogue, Shatika Turner, a member of Planned Parenthood of Greater New York Advisory Council on Accessible Sex Education, eloquently stated, "The most harmful misconceptions when it comes to people with disabilities are that we don’t have sexual lives, our disabilities define our identities, or that we don’t experience a spectrum of sexual orientations or gender identities."
I couldn't agree more. From my dating life to interactions with medical professionals, I've faced surprise and disbelief when inquiring about reproductive healthcare or expressing my sexual desires. It's as if my wheelchair and service dog automatically desexualize me in the eyes of others. But let me be clear: my disability does not erase my sexuality.
In 2019, I was featured in Dan Savage's Savage Love Column, where I discussed the importance of recognizing and celebrating the sexual agency of people with disabilities. As I told Savage, "It's estimated that one in five people have a disability... So I would encourage [people] to use some of the mainstream apps—like Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble Inc., or Match—and put what they're after front and center."
So, this Disability Pride Month, let's break down these misconceptions. Let's talk about sex and disability. Let's make it as normal as discussing the weather or the latest episode of whatever reality TV show is popular these days.
Let's ensure that our sexual education curriculums are inclusive, affirming, and safe for our community. Let's normalize these discussions instead of hiding them in the shadows because of ignorance and discomfort.
Because guess what? People with disabilities have sex. We date. We fall in love. We break up. We swipe right and left. And it's high time we acknowledged that.
We are individuals with our own desires, needs, and identities. We deserve to be seen, heard, and understood in all aspects of our lives, including our sexual lives.
People With Disabilities Deserve Comprehensive Sex Education